Writing Concept:Word Choice (By Grant)

Word choice and detail when you want the reader to enjoy the text. When I did the second draft I felt like I was writing a story instead of just completing an assignment. I paid more attention to the words I picked so that it would sound more interesting.

Charlie and His Horns
First Draft
Charlie has a little problem. He 's a bulldog, literally, meaning he's a dog with horns. Each time he breaks something his horns grow a little bit bigger. When his horns grow, he grows a little bit clumsier. Sadly, he is me. Yes I am Charlie the dog.
I was heading home from obedience when I met my French Friend Pierre.
"Hey Misseur clutz, how are you doing?" Said Pierre. "I found this ball you and me can play with."
"Sorry Pierre. I don't want to lose my report card. My owner would not be happy."
"It won't get lost if you put it by that tree," said Pierre. "Besides, it will be fun!" Pierre was right. It was fun. But he was also wrong. I lost the report card.
"Where is my report card?" I said.
"Over there, that chipmunk has it!" exclaimed Pierre.
We both after the chipmunk. It lead us down the street, across the highway and into the streets of New York.



Charlie and His Horns
Second Draft

I am Charlie, the long, thin weiner dog. I was born with short stubby horns that my mom thought were cute. Well, they are now as long as I am. Each time I break something, my horns grow a little bit bigger. When my horns grow, I grow a little bit clumsier.
I was heading home from obedience school when I saw my curly-haired French Poodle friend Pierre running toward me.
"Hey Misseur clutz, how are you doing?" Said Pierre, who was wagging his puffy tail excitedly. "I found this ball you and me can play with."
"Sorry Pierre. I don't want to lose my report card. My owner would not be happy."
"It won't get lost if you put it by that tree," said Pierre. "Besides, it will be fun!" Pierre was right. It was fun, and my horns didn't even break anything, (or anybody). But he was also wrong. I lost the report card.
"Where is my report card?" I said.
"Over there, that chipmunk has it!" exclaimed Pierre.
We both dashed after the taunting bushy tailed chipmunk. It lead us down the shady street, across the busy highway and into the noisy streets of New York.